TNW uses cookies to personalize content and ads to make our site easier for you to use. One one-liner a day keeps the doctor away…so, here is a shortlist of the best one-liners you can find on the internet today. Have fun! So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp



Racist White Jokes
Illustration by Giacomo Gambineri. Yes, a joke can be a one-liner built from a setup and a punch line, but it can also be an act of physical comedy. Pretending to stick a needle in your eye, or pooping in the street while wearing a wedding dress: both jokes. A joke, as defined by this list, is a discrete moment of comedy, whether from stand-up, a sketch, an album, a movie, or a TV show. First, we decided early on that these jokes needed to be performed and recorded at some point. Second, with apologies to Monty Python, whose influence on contemporary comedy is tremendous and undeniable, we focused only on American humor. Third, we only included one joke per comedian.


Dark Humor Jokes
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries. My penis.



These jokes have been available for a while at the bottom of each page, selected at random. Warning: some of them are quite crude. A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it. Why does the bride always wear white?